Saturday 2 May 2009

Kinetic Sculptures


Well everyone loves a good craft. Especially giant crafts. Especially giant crafts on wheels. That have to go through mud and sand. When you combine all this fun you get...The Kinetic Sculpture Race! Contestants build giant vehicles of fun and pedals (cause you gotta pedal it) that usually have witty themes and sock puppets. Some of our favourites included the Cycloptopus, The Voodoo Air, Fifi!, Platypus, Rocky Horror Picture Shoe, Bumpo, and the Oregon Trail. Sometimes you'll notice that the driver of this giant fun machine is actually someone from your place of worship or perhaps your arty friend from London. Sometimes they're really good looking (The Oregon Trail) or have amazing tattoo sleeves and cowbells (Voodoo Air). The only bummer is when they can't get their freaking vehicle through the mud and there's no way in hell they're ever gonna get it through but they keep trying for like 30 freaking minutes! But that doesn't always happen. Some, like the Platypus, shoot right through the sand and mud, making the others look like LAME-Os. But we applaud the efforts of the smaller vehicles. If you're interested in building a kinetic sculpture, bigger is better. Animals always look neat, and guys with instruments add to the experience too (more cowbell!). A & K

Monday 16 February 2009

Incredibad


What is both incredible and bad? Besides a night three teenage boys spent with an alien (I'll leave that up to your imagination)? It's the Lonely Island's new album Incredibad. If you aren't familiar with the Lonely Island you are most likely living under a rock with no internet or television. Maybe you are familiar with Andy Samberg? He is one member of the trio. The other two are named Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone. I had been watching their videos on youtube when my dad came home and gave me the CD. I put it in the computer and instantly I was taken to a dream world of magic. It opens with a track called "Who Said We're Whack?" It's a powerful song about the guys trying to find who called them whack. Make sure you listen to the second song because Santana DVX is refferenced throughout the rest the of the album. Then comes a classic; Jizz in My Pants. Nothing needs to be said about that. Then comes I'm On A Boat. The latest single featuring T-Pain. They lyrics give the listener insight to what being on a boat is really like. Then Jack Black joins the fellows for Sax Man. There isn't much more to say about Jack Black because he's obviously fantastic. Lazy Sunday follows. Finally I have it on my ipod! I can take it anywhere! I had forgotten how much I missed Mr. Pibb + Red Vines. Then comes a short song called Normal Guy. Thats a gem. We all have that friend that sings instead of talking. Now my favorite song: Boombox. The lyrics aren't quite my favorite but it features Julian Casablancas. His voice is so beautiful I listen to the song over and over just to hear. I would listen to him sing anything. Then comes the interlude Shrooms. The lyrics are pretty easy to learn so if you entered yourself in a singing contest but you didn't have enough time to learn a long song Shrooms is the perfect choose. Next is Like A Boss. It really gave me some insight into the world of a boss. I don't think I could be a boss because the main parts of a boss' day are chopping your balls off and dying and obviously that can't happen to me. Because I'm immortal. Duh. Then We Like Sportz. Another good one. Dreamgirl features Norah Jones. It's a great song about a beautiful girl and chex mix. What's not to love about half eaten squirrels and chex mix? Ras Trent follows. I remeber seeing it on SNL. Watch the video which comes on disc 2. YES A SECOND DISC WITH VIDEOS!!! Then comes Dick in a Box. No need to say anything about this classic. The Old Saloon...where to begin? All I have to say is DJ LARRY! Next is Punch You In The Jeans. The rhymes are nice. Earth Quaka and Mistaka. Space Olymics follows. It gets stuck in my head for days on end. I like to think that some day we can have space olympics even though outer space is one of my biggest fear. Then Natalie Portman jumps on board for a rap of her own. Who would have known she was so hardcore? Last but not least is Incredibad. It tells the tale of these young lads becomes fake MCs. Its good stuff. The whole album is great listening for anyone. I would recomending going out and buying it so you can get disc two. -A

Sunday 8 February 2009

F Minus

"Actually Officer, I'm pretty sure you can't arrest a baby for reckless driving so...we'll just be on our way." These words have gotten me out of so many tight situations, because whenever I say them, no one knows how to react. That's because they are in awe after hearing a line from one of the greatest comics ever. Now, as an educated girl interested in what's going on in the world. I read the newspaper every day. Of course, when I say I read the newspaper, I mean I read the Comic strips (and Ask Amy...but we'll save that for another day). Between the every day teenage drama in Luann and Jeremy's lives, the shenanigans pulled by young scamps Curtis and Ruthie, the struggles of the modern working woman that are reflected in Cathy and Sally Forth, and the heartwarming peeks into raising children that can be found in Family Circus...few comics actually make me laugh. But F Minus, which was introduced fairly recently to the Baltimore Sun's repertoire, consistently makes me laugh out loud (not to be confused with "lol-ing", or "lawling", because neither of these actually involve the lawler to actually laugh). It's situated at the bottom of the page, because clearly the editor knows to save the best for last.
The artist uses very few lines to create the scenery and facial expressions, yet he captures them perfectly, portraying his quirky situations and proving that he is a genius with just one stroke of the pen. Once the Baltimore Sun sent out a survey asking how important the comics were to you and if you would stop reading them or read them more if certain comics were added removed. I filled out 30 saying I would cancel my subscription to the Sun if F Minus was removed, which is 100% true because that paper is crap and the comics are the only redeeming quality, so if they weren't even good, what's the point? If you've never read F Minus, you can browse their archives to catch up on what you've missed, but be careful not to read too many at once. They're like savory chocolates, and you don't want to spoil your appetite for them.



-K

Thursday 29 January 2009

Fake Birthdays


Since the dawn of time birthdays* have come once a year. Why are we only allowed to celebrate once a year? Sure there are other holidays throughout the entire year but none of them are all about you. On your birthday you can boss everyone around eat cake. Could it get any better? If life was a coloring book all the pages would be colored cadet blue with a dying marker scribbled outside the lines but one page would be colored with every single crayola crayon in the 150 pack (except cadet blue, could there be a duller color?)! Why can't more pages be colored properly? Last week I decided to have a birthday. I though January 28th would be a splendid day to have a birthday. I changed my birthday on facebook so that everyone would know that it was my birthday. Then the day came. I got notification after notification wishing me a happy birthday. Several people caught on that it was not my real birthday but I was surprised at the amount of people who did not catch on. Even some I considered my good friends had no idea. But it really doesn't matter to me because these clueless people helped make January 28th the best fake birthday yet! I hope that my coloring book of life will be filled with more colorful pages as the year goes on!

-A


* I always think about birthdays. Who decided to call them birthdays? Because really we have one birthday and that is the day we emerged from the womb, or egg if you are not a mammal (there are other things you could be born from but we don't need to go into that here). That is the day of your birthday or in other words, your birthday. The one and only day you will ever be born. I mean born in the literal sense because some say they were born again when they found Jesus but that does not apply here. What we call the birthday is what I like to think of as an anniversary of the day you graced this earth with your presence. I still use the common term though because it is just to complicated to explain saying "happy anniversary of your birth" to everyone all the time. Also when I think about birthdays I picture Mulan walking down a sidewalk going to school
because Mulan is Chinese and I heard that they consider you 1 when you are first born. I always thought that was neat but a little tricky. Why Mulan is going to school is a different story that even I don't know.

Free Stuff


As we all know, all kinds of stuff is awesome. The only thing that can make stuff more awesome is when it's FREE. I mean how great is it to get something, and not have to give ANYTHING in return? Delicious treats, music, soap, anything free is FANTASTIC.
The other day I was at the mall and I saw what appeared to be on of those kiosk workers approaching with a tray. Well as a general rule I try to avoid making eye contact with these people cause usually they just start putting lotion on your hands and taking your soul....its all very unpleasant. However these weren't kiosk workers at all, they were people from LUSH and they were handing out free samples of soap! Now Lush being one of my favourite stores (see first post), and Karma Soap being one of the best products there, I was beside myself. Then, I visited the actual store and there were free Lush cookies and chocolates too! It just made me feel all giddy like a school girl--free stuff does that to me.
I love the days when restaurants have free food days too, like Free Slurpie day at 7-11, Free Coffee day at Dunkin Donuts, Free Chik-fil-a day, Free Rita's Italian ice on the first day of spring, and other things like that. I know they usually create these days with the intention that you'll think Well hey, I'm here and I've saved my money by getting this product free, I should purchase another item from this fine friendly establishment. But they couldn't be more wrong! Once I get my free stuff I book it (that is assuming I don't hang around and try to get more...after all it's FREE). It's also great when I go to concerts and get free sampler CDs, and when they have free downloads on LastFM.
BASICALLY what I'm trying to say is free stuff is terrific and it always makes my day. If you don't take every opportuinity you can to get free stuff then you're missing out on the fulfilling feeling that you just got something without any effort at all! And my friends, that is a great feeling.



-K

Sunday 18 January 2009

Matzah Ball Soup


In these bleak winter months everyone needs something to keep them warm. My cravings for matzah ball soup had nothing to do with keeping warm. Everything began as any normal horrific Tuesday usually begins, with the sound of my alarm. Tuesday is the worst day because it just is and there isn't any good television. I went to school as I do every single week day but this time it was different. I began craving soup like a pregnant woman craves bacon and beets wrapped in a spicy taco shell. It wasn't just any soup. I wanted my mother's matzah ball soup. In case you are not sure what matzah is I will tell you. It is pretty much just a sheet of edible cardboard (not that cardboard isn't already edible seeing as it is made out of corn but that is a story for a different day) that Jews eat on passover instead of cereal and all kinds of bready goodness. It may sound like I don't enjoy matzah but you try eating it for seven days. There are several good things you can do with it. One of these is pancakes but the other is soup. The entire day I could only think about was soup. All day. Nothing but soup. When my mom picked me up I told her about my cravings and she said she would make some that night. That didn't stop the cravings until that soup was finally in my hands. It was the greatest moment of that week. In a close second was the next evening when we sauted the leftover matzah balls in butter and ate them. Typing this is making me crave more soup.

-A

Thursday 8 January 2009

Flinstones Vitamins


Yesterday I was feeling a little bit Vitamin A, Vitamin B 12, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Niacin, Phosphorus, Zinc, Iron, Calcium, Magnesium, Iodine and Copper defficient, and I also had a hankerin for some delicious garishly-flavoured candy, but I only had time to eat ONE THING. Well, I didn't have to think long or hard about what it would be. Why, it was the Flinstones Vitamin of course! In many (3) different fun shapes and flavours, Flinstones vitamins are the most entertaining way to get your daily dose of Riboflavin since I found out that espresso has 35 mg of it. But forget that! Flinstones Vitamins are so fun they should be illegal! And apparently they've gotten even more fun and varied since I was a kid- they now have gummy and sour gummy options! I still prefer the classics, but I appreciate their effort to reach out to those who do not appreciate the chalky goodness of the original. Some people say the Flinstones Vitamins taste disgusting, like cough syrup. They just don't know what fine dining is, and they should probably get a book about the delicacies that can be found in the vitamin aisle. If you've never had Flinstones Vitamins, first, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Second, GO OUT AND BUY SOME. You will not be disappointed. And if you are disappointed, fine. You can just get your Vitamin B 1, 2, 6, 12 elsewhere and leave the Flinstones Vitamins to the people who know what's really delicious and nutritious.



-K